Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Everclear isn't food dammit
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
