Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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