If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
