Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
