Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
