dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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