Pants 0. Shit 1.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize