Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
