ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
