I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
