but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
