Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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