Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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