it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize