omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
