he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize