Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just invented taco cereal.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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