Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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