I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
