Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
