it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
