There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
