Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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