Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
