I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize