I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
