i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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