Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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