i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
