Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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