mondays should just be called national damage control day
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
