i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
