you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
