hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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