the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
