their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
