gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
