How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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