her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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