he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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