Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
