Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
