Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
