that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
