that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
