I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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