Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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