Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
