whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
