Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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