Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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