you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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