writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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