he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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