well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
