Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
