dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm having to shit out rocks
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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