dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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