I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
