'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
