considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize