what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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