she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
