I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
only if we run a train.
done.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
