i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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