Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
