Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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