i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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