Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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