he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
