weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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