Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
