if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
