you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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