like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize